Dining out? Some helpful hints

In a similar vein to my ranting about the CNN article on miserable dining-out company, I thought I would offer up my strategies for navigating the awkward, "I can't have that" conversation regarding restaurants.  These are only my personal strategies; they are not the only way to go about things; and they may not necessarily work in every situation.

1)  Respect the others' needs/preferences, whatever they may be.  Food isn't just about shoveling calories down your throat - it's a social experience.  "Normal" folks (for a lack of a better term, those who don't have special dietary restrictions) should respect the needs/preferences of the food sensitive/intolerant, the vegetarians, the vegans, the raw food-ists, etc. and vice versa.  Quoth the Rabbi Hillel, "What is hateful to thyself, do not do to another.  That is the whole Law, the rest is commentary."  In the words of Jesus, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."

2)  For those with special dietary needs, always have a plan ready.  For example:

• Have a mental (and/or physical) list of "okay" restaurants/dishes ready for those spur-of-the-moment, "Let's grab lunch" conversations.  
• Going to a restaurant with a menu that doesn't readily accommodate your needs?  Call the restaurant ASAP, explain your needs, and, if possible, negotiate a compromise.
• Cannot go to restaurants period?  Offer to cook something you can eat that is agreeable to your company.
• Someone wants to grab a bite and you have your food already?  Offer to meet them in a neutral place (i.e. their desk, their office, a picnic table outside, etc.).     
• Going to a party?  If at all possible, confer with the host/hostess about "okay" options in advance.  Offer to help them plan/prepare the food themselves or to bring an "okay" option to share.  If necessary, have "okay" options ready.  
• Hosting a party?  If possible (and there are situations when this is not possible), bring or cook something that you can't have, but others can.

The bottom line?  Be prepared to be part of the solution.

3)  For those without special dietary needs, be supportive and flexible.  For example:

• Going out?  Let those with special dietary needs lead.
• Cooking for someone with dietary restrictions?  Hosting a party?  Choose recipes that are naturally "okay" when possible.  Some ingredients are more easily substituted than others: i.e. substituting plant-based oils for animal based fats and one sweetener for another are pretty easy; good soy-sauce and cheese substitutes are hard to find, however.

The bottom line?  Don't be afraid to get creative or try something new.